Catch up with me.....10th November '12

Hi all,
I'm sat in my kitchen / (stolen zone for knitting) wearing my 50 Shades of Teal shawl I completed for the 2 Knit Lit Chicks KAL. Fun!! I love it, as does Brenda Castiel the designer.
Between the stars is a massive rant so skip if you like.

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So, it's been very crazy for me over the last three weeks, in and out of hospital and various other things getting in lifes way. My hospital results were mostly good. I say mostly because other than a slow bowl and a partially collapsed left lung, they don't know what's wrong.
My consultant has asked me to do a 'final test'. A barium meal so they can watch how quickly my stomach empties. When I saw him last monday I was devastated. He couldn't give me any answers to why I'm this ill. He wants to admit me for tube feeding directly into my small intestine to bypass the stomach so it won't get rejected. Alongside that he wants me to have a fluid and nutrient IV. Then after a couple of weeks when i've gained weight he'll let me continue the tube feeds at home. On paper that's great and initially I gave in and agreed because my husband and dad were in the room with me. However, being 100% honest, I'd rather jump off a bridge. There's no way in hell am I comfortable with the idea. Several reasons, 1, I can feed myself because I'm not in a coma.....2, I don't trust what they'll be 'Fattening' me up with.......3, There's no guarantee it will work and not get rejected....4,If at any point I refuse treatment or ask to leave I'll get struck off the list and refused further help if I need it. ( I have that in writing) 5, Do my kids really want to see me like that??? 6, They don't know why it happened and what's to say as soon as the tubes get taken out I'm not better. The hope is that I'll gain enough weight so my system reboots. I asked if I would be well by Christmas and was told no. Nor could he give me an estimate of when if at all i would recover. They expect me to just let them feed me like a turkey and be happy losing my last piece of dignity in life. Um NO.....
I'm so miserable and fed up of being told what to do and nothing actually being done. The whole time I've been ill I haven't actually had any treatment apart from one vitamin drip and a litre of fluid back in february of this year. I'm so messed up in every  way you can imagine.
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I need more knitting hours even though I do nothing except knit these days.
So on to knitting...
Currently I'm working on:
*Hurricane sandy afghan square,
*Kims Noro Jumper,
*Golden Xale (shawl)
* A snowman
*Opal painting (shawl)
*Golden Happyness (shawl)
*Snuggles (cowl)
*Janes Love (shawl)
* Knitting Brooklyn holiday swap,
*Keiras Shrug,
*Kims Socks,
*Sweetdreams (shawl)
*Ruby Minimissi (cable coat)
*Preggers (lacey maternity top for a friend)
*Chinook (shawl)

There are more projects on the needles but those are my priority ones this month.

Finished:
Keiras Hat,

Pearly Penguin,

Mrs Christmas mouse,

50 Shades of Teal by Brenda Castiel,

Alexis the Fairy,

Pale Peacock. I'll add this photo next time.
I'll also have more photos of my wips. Especially the snuggly which i plan on finishing this weekend and Kims Noro Jumper which i want to try and get some reasonable amount knit on.

I have been reading a lot too, having read 'The Hunger Games Trilogy' since my last blog. Great books, I struggled to put them down, so it's a good thing I was reading them on my Kindle else no knitting would have gotten done ha ha.
I've also been reading lots of Debbie Macomber Books too. Yes simultaneously. They are: Angels at Christmas, Angels at the Table, The First Man You Meet, & A Merry Little Christmas.
I'm now reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. I'm about a tenth in and it's good so far. I'm also reading The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. Both were recommended to me by 2 Knit Lit Chick Forum members and I'm not regretting buying either of them. Thanks Barb and KnitsnPurls.
I've also got more Audible books to talk about but that can wait until my next post.
I'll update you on my Christmas knitting and lots of other fun stuff happening at the moment too.
Take care for now everyone and keep knitting
Elly xxx